Kulula Humor

The very first thing I do in the morning is to check blogs especially if I get up really really early. I checked Rajo Laurel's blog and his post about Kulala Airlines really made my day.

I'm reposting some of the humorous lines here or you can just go to his blog and read them there:

"Please pay attention to the safety announcement, because you will be writing a test shortly".

"If you are caught smoking, you will be asked to leave the aircraft".


"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."


"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."


"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."


"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."


"Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."


"Ladies and gentlemen, we have landed in Cape Town . Please take all your possessions. Anything left behind will be shared equally between staff. Please note we do not accept unwanted mothers-in-law or children."


"Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

After a hard landing on a Kulula flight into Cape Town, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"


After a bumpy landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."


After a less than perfect of a landing on a Kulula flight to Johannesburg, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."


"Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

Quite hard to believe so if you want proof, go to this site. They actually have recordings.